The fact that you’re asking yourself, “What’s going on?” is already an important first step. Feeling down and wondering why it’s happening can be overwhelming, leading to doubts and concerns about your well-being. You might be depressed, you may have fallen out of love with your partner—or both.
Reaching a conclusion is essential because healing becomes possible once you gain clarity. It’s important not to linger on this question for too long, as overanalyzing can make you feel worse.
So, let’s address the elephant in the room: Have you fallen out of love, or are you depressed?
Is It About Me or Them?
It’s not wise to make major decisions when you’re feeling low. When immersed in negative emotions, your thoughts become clouded, making it hard to see the bigger picture. Imagine a large tapestry on the wall—if you're standing with your nose pressed against it, you can only see a tiny portion of the design. You need to take a few steps back to view the entire painting.
Similarly, before concluding whether you’ve fallen out of love or are simply struggling emotionally, take time to gain perspective. When emotions settle, you can see the situation more clearly.
How Is Your Sex Life?
Next, examine the dynamics of your relationship. Are you still attracted to your partner? Do they make you feel good? If the intimacy is still there and your partner is someone you can talk to about difficult topics, then breaking up may not be the right solution.
On the other hand, if your partner no longer excites you or if the relationship has become toxic, those could be warning signs. Pay attention to any red flags. A fulfilling sex life and emotional connection are strong indicators that your relationship might not be the problem—it could be something deeper, like depression.
Signs of Depression
Depression is tough. It manifests in many ways, including:
- Lack of motivation
- Inability to feel happiness
- Loss of appetite or overeating
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or oversleeping)
- A general sense of emptiness or numbness
If you suspect you're depressed, start by talking to people you trust—your partner, family, or friends. Expressing your feelings can help you process them, identify thought loops, and gain an outside perspective.
Seeking help is the next step. This could mean talking to a therapist, but it could also involve deep introspection. Engaging in spiritual practices, journaling, or even contemplating your life path can be healing. You may discover that what you need isn't a breakup but a shift in other areas of your life—your job, lifestyle, or personal goals. I also recommend practicing gratitude - it can help you renew your positivity and gain motivation to push through.
What About Your Partner?
Depression is temporary, even when it feels never-ending. So, where does your partner fit into this journey?
A strong relationship can withstand difficult times. If your partner stands by you, listens, and supports you through your struggles, that’s a good sign. However, if they withdraw or dismiss your feelings, it may indicate a lack of emotional depth in the relationship.
Ask yourself: Where do they stand in my life? Having open, honest conversations with your partner is crucial. Overcoming depression together can strengthen your bond, but it requires effort, patience, and mutual commitment.
Final Thoughts
Above all, don’t keep everything bottled up. Talk to others, read, write, and actively seek understanding. Remember, you are not alone in this—many great minds, from artists to philosophers to scientists, have navigated similar emotional turmoil and emerged stronger.
And most importantly: You are not your emotions. You are so much more.